The Life Philosophy of a Truly Generic Teen

She Flu!

2007-08-14T22:17:00.000+12:00

You know what is a killer? Trying to resurrect a blog that had (forgive me for saying so) one hell of a 'final' entry. You quite literally have no idea (or do you??) of how many (failed) attempts I've made to breathe life back into this rust bucket. The last entry seems to have been like the 'last gasp' for me (very much like the final of Sex and the City.) It's extremely difficult trying to reclaim the essence of this blog I was so determined to stamp out when I decided I would swear off blogging.

Shows how much that worked.

I'm thinking of revisiting my singleton-sister Bridget for inspiration in order to conquer such a feat as raising the 'dead' (to date I believe Jesus has only managed to do such a thing, I have very large sandals to fill.)

So the most generic way of going about this would be to update you on what's going on with me (seeing as how, that's why you're here reading this, right?) ... (Sorry Matty with the erotic fiction blog entitled "Dipping in the Cow" has moved to the blog address of the same name.) So today, I've been stuck at home trying to recover from the flu (hence the title 'She Flu!') which, needless to say, positively sucks. I feel like crap, look like it too, and the only upside I can see in this, is that from all the coughing, I may develop moderately toned abs. I'll be sorely disappointed however, if this does not happen, and my suffering would have all been in vain. I have also attended the Scholar's Dinner at school tonight, honouring, you guessed it, the scholars. I was rather embarrassed to be the only one in the room disturbing the bubbly waves of light conversation with my irrepressible cough. And I was seated between the Deputy Principal and a Board member. Go figure.

But no to be honest with you, if I weren't sick and not forced to drown myself in iced water (which was my only option, that or no water, which would be worse) thing would have been far better enjoyed, but there was no verbal incontinency (despite being sandwiched between two figures of high power within the school. I should just be thankful I wasn't next to the head honcho herself.) Actually, scrap all I just said, because for those of you who actually know me, I was just doing the mean lying back there, because in truth I find it very easy to talk to adults (using that word its becoming more stupid and more juvenile by the second, seeing as how I'm treading the border between adolescence and, if we want to be really specific, young adulthood.)

God I just sound like the biggest bore, but I swear, it's the flu that's doing this to me. Well, either that of the myriad of paracetamol and cough syrups I'm on. I quite literally want to take everything I can get my hands on in a very cocktail-esque fashion and hope for the best. But in doing so, I'd probably wind up dead. Or at least having my stomach pumped, which, after watching Almost Famous, appears both terrifying and horridly glamorous as the same time.

For those real Bridget Jones buffs out there (yes, the ones who have ACTUALLY read the books) check this.

"The wilderness years are over!"

Later days!

The End of an Era (?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?)

2007-07-10T01:09:00.000+12:00

At this late hour of 1:10 am, I've decided yet another (self-deprecating) entry into this blog which no one actually reads. I recently took at look at my old blog. NO not this one, my ORIGINAL blog. It's full of rantings and ravings about so and so whom I liked back in the day, and man just looking at how I pretty much laid my personal life out for scrutiny by all of the cyber world, its just humiliating really, it makes me feel like a right prat.

But man, can I tell you, readership was high back in the day.

Now that I've decided (for my own mental health) to be more discreet, my readership has dropped dramatically. To nil. For any of you who are aware of my topic choices of late, you would have to agree with this statement, that my personal life must boast better drama than Gilmore Girls any day.

So, what do you have to say today May-Lee? Well, perhaps it's time to shut this blog down for good. No, I'd never delete it, I don't believe in 'deletion'. I'll leave it out for people to gawf and laugh at, to pity and to feel empathy with, because to be honest with you this is what I made a blog for. Think of it as an early sampler of what's to come when I do eventually publish my diaries (hopefully all of you, myself included, will be dead by then).

Where to go from here? Hopefully IF my workload ever ceases to keep on replenishing itself, perhaps we may be seeing some new articles on mellife, my real love that I've neglected for too long. I've put my fertility and ability to bear children at risk making that website (laptop on lap see?) so of course it is my one and only labour of love.

So Adios dear readers, until we meet again. This was a rather undignified and unceremonious end to what has been a four year journey. I apoligise and which I had more creativity, but the end in itself is a rather creative concept. Ceasing to continue is a strange thought. It has been (though not for the whole time) a pleasure being able to reach out and go "Hey, this is how bad my life is, how does yours stack up?!" Onward and upwards they say, fare well!

THE END

The Non-Commital Type

2007-07-05T00:14:00.000+12:00

The Non-Commital Type. That's not a phrase I use very often. I'm actually trying to remember a time when I've ever had to use that phrase (in writing at least) and I conclude, never. And even more rare, has the phrase ever been applied to me. Because I'm one of 'those' sorts of people. The one who pretty much values loyalty above all else. And loyalty means commitment.

However I also know that I myself am the sorta person who does a lot of talking, and not a lot of walking. What can I say? It's diffcult to keep up with a mouth that has been, on several occasions, referred to as a motorised one. That being said, this is where my thoughts start to get a little tricky; if I'm talking, but not walking, does that really mean I'm commited to staying commited?

Well, for starters, this blog I'm writing in, I haven't touched it since September last year. SEPTEMBER. And unfortunately writing is one of my biggest loves, and yet and just can't stay focused and commited to doing it and keeping it up to date.

Year eight, 2003. I first came across Bridget Jones and her fantabulous diary. From there sprung my passionate love affair for my diary. The first two years of the relationship was successful. However, after a while, things started to go down hill from there. She (or he, I'm not sure what gender a book is, neuter anyone?) I stopped writing for long periods, huge spaces of time were left blank and unchronicalised. Afterall, the real reason I started a diary was so that I could chronicalise my history as a teen, and that someone, someday (maybe me) will be able to look back on my life and go "Hey, she was awesome" (or something to that effect.) But when you start to have 'holes' in your story, that's when things get ugly.

Commitment. In the past I've cancelled on people (rather rudely, in the inconveniencing sense) for movies, parties, ballet recitals, musicals, a trip down to New Market. Since primary school, I haven't played for a sports team because I (or my parents and I) can't make the commitment to get to early morning practices and weekend games. I haven't been in a choir or an orchestra since I was 11 (mind you, recorder players and pianists were never in hot demand to begin with) and the one year I decided to join a debating team (for the boys though, I swear I joined only for them!) inbetween adrenaline rushes and victory highs, I was mentally kicking myself that I hadn't ducked out while I still could have.

But then there are those other things which some people don't merit so much as your large list of extra-curricular sports teams and musical groups, but those are the things I live for.
I have, without fail, turned up to every library duty this year. Every single one. Why? Ask myself a year ago when I had the shadow of tears in my eyes because I hadn't made the list of librarians that year. It broke my heart in two, and I'm not joking either.

Musicals. Bloody hectic, bloody stressful, and I hate auditions. They generate a lot of self doubt. But I love it, I really do. I can't dance to save myself, and despite what other people say, there are a million different and better actors out there than me, but I love musicals. I've loved them since I first saw that little singing mouse who sang 'Somewhere Out There' in the movie 'American Tails'. You know, the one with the talking mice who emigrate from Russia to New York.

My Junior School drama girls. I love them so very much, even when they're running around screaming and head-butting me in the back of the head and calling me names and dragging me across the floor and slapping me on the bum and (I know, they're weird) sticking their heads up my cardigan (that time, I really felt violated) I sometimes get overwhelmed with the urge to bundle them all up and take them home (in a very non-paedophiliac or ransom-ous way.)

My friends. I'm sorry but there's enough said there.

And finally, the guy of the moment. The 'One' of the time. So crushes can be very whimsical things, and, as Rebecca Epstein says in 'Starter for 10' - "I've never really had much luck in that department" I am 100% commited to you. Almost Jerry Maguire-esque. Because that's just the way I'm built, the way I operate.

I think that you can create a lot of good work (writing-wise) late a night. I'm not sure what you'd call this. This, this is just really really bad. Sorta like Jerry Maguire and his memo 'the Things that we think but don't say' only worse and more soppy, and even more pointless. And certainly not inspiring. Sorry about all the Jerry (Maguire, not Springer) references, I just finished rewatching it. If I had a job, I'd wonder whether I'd lose my job over this.

My feet are cold. Peace out.

I'm Having Trouble Sleeping

2007-02-03T01:14:00.000+13:00

It's 1.17 am and I'm having trouble sleeping. Actually that last bit was part of the song I'm listening to, appropriately titled 'Trouble Sleeping.' I'm not suffering from insomnia, and this so called insomnia is being aggravated by myself worrying about anyone in particular. That my friend, is completely a side act. I mean, you'd be having trouble sleeping too if you'd come home from an extremely full on day (having had a measley 6 hours sleep) meeting and greeting Dio parents and entertaining fragile Year 7s, and crash on your sofa for 2 hours of glorious sleep. Unfortunately 15 mins (let alone 5) on an afternoon like this is enough to keep anyone, and I mean anyone, live-wired for an extra 2 (if I'm unlucky, 3) hours longers. So much for trying to get my body clock in sync before school starts.

So, since its now, 1.21 am, it's time to be honest with one another.
I'm a pretty lenient person and I find I forgive very easily, it's just my character. What happens today will not matter at all tomorrow. However I've been trodden on a bit recently, and it's not so much I'm pissed, but more I'm upset. Because, *drum roll* it's time for Mel's BIG FIVE.
There never was a BIG FIVE up until just now, but five is just such a well rounded, well balanced number, has some real pizzazz to it, I thought I'd limit myself to five. So, these are five things that have been, I suppose in the Mel Court of Law, been violated.

1. Emotional Fuckwittage - I'm not one to swear, but this is a technical term. Emotional Fuckwittage originated from the novel Bridget Jone's Diary, and it describes, I suppose in a way, what we now commonly know as a player. Except. No, the particular person I'm referring to about this is not a player, it isn't part of his personality. And I'm sure he didn't intend this EF (emotional fuckwittage) but his, in my opinion, over-thinking the situation has caused him to commit this singleton atrocity. There is nothing worse than to have trust in someone, and genuinely believe everything they say to you and their actions and attentions towards you, and in an instant when you are in that most vulnerable place, all of a sudden for no apparent reason, they're cold and distant. Where'd that sweet and interested and caring person go? This may not bug everyone, but anyone who really knows me, knows I'm a very open person who isn't afraid to show what they think or how they feel. Easily seen through my animated (MSN) conversations, where you never thought such non-communicative communication could come so alive. Seriously, if I don't greet you with an exclamation mark, you're fucked. I suppose, in a few words, what I really dislike is insincerity. That kills me.

Return of the Prodigal Blogger

2006-09-26T21:37:00.000+12:00

Yes. Here I am. I have been dragged (although not so reluctantly) kicking and screaming my blog, where I hope to rekindle a long (5 months) burnt out relationship.
I can't say that I've been unable to function without my blog, because I have, but when the old writing juices run dry, there is no place to write than here.
Here I'm

Saving trees
Saving Bic pens
Writing for an audience (writing in a journal isn't that fun sometimes, when you only have your alter-ego leaving snide comments for you.) That's pathetic, don't you have any self respect for your other self? <-- See! What did I tell you!
Did I say I was saving trees?

Being without something to record my thoughts and feelings this past many months, my brain has been a little scattered, it's a little too full with all the thinking that's been going on this year.

And I know all you guys know that thinking for me is a dangerous sport.

Being in Yr 11 I've entered the stage I'd now like to call "Half-Way to Nowhere." I've reached a point where I'm now too old to be ignorant of things happening around me, my responsibilities, and my future. HOWEVER, I'm still ever-so-slightly too young to do anything significant about anything.

One key update: I'm still boyfriend-less. But right now there are more important issues to address and so my hunt for the perfect man has been made redundant for the meanwhile.

See what I mean? I'm thinking less about my own personal gain for once, and thinking for... yes, I haven't quite worked out my cause, but my aim at this stage is that the human race benefits from my self-sacrificing-ness.

note: short aimless paragraphs show how difficult I'm finding it to order my thoughts at the moment.

This term has been, although short, has been a long and exhaustive one. There's been exams, and of course, there has been option choices. I seriously dread anything that involves options and choices in the same sentence. Because, lets face it, I'm no good in making life or death decisions (ok it's not life or death per-say, but a wrong option choice could mean the difference between a class from heaven... or a timetable from hell.)...(That's why I don't want to be a spy for the CIA anymore.) In the past I haven't made the best decisions when it comes to options. I've made choices based upon what I was interested in. Maori AND Latin was not best option choice as effective, both languages are, or soon to be 'redundant.' (I'm quite liking this word at the moment, sort of a euphemism for something for sinister isn't it?) So this year I've realised that options are going to really mean something, they may well decide what I end up doing for the rest of my life.

And that my friends, is a very scary thought.

And unfortunately, scary thoughts get me thinking.

Unfortunately I've been trying to conduct numerous 36O degree analysis of me, what I do, what I want to do, what I enjoy, why do I want to do them, what I want to achieve.

(Sorry guys, you're eyes must be sore.) This entry has been dragging on a bit, so I'll leave it there for now, and in my next entry, we will continue on Mel's "Road for Reason."

Damn that's corny.

I'm moving on up

2006-04-02T16:17:00.000+12:00

We are now in that time of year where we're moving into April, a new month, autumn, a new season, and for a lot of us, moving on to other things. In saying that, I'm finding that it's not just me who may be finding these sorts of changes to be not to their liking. That doesn't mean I don't like autumn, because anyone who knows me knows I love autumn! It's one of my favourite season of the year, for I was born in April. So in twenty two more days, I'll be turning sixteen.

Ahh, sixteen. Sweet sixteen.

I hadn't worked out until this year the true meaning of being sweet sixteen. And believe me, I'll be sweet. I'll say it now, I haven't been kissed yet, but hey. At least I'm not hooking up with randoms. Note that fact there are a lot of bugs going around being passed on by saliva, and that's saying something. But the thing is, there are some people who will go through hundreds of guys, kissing every one of them, and I have my doubts about how meaningful those kisses are. Unlike them, I'll be waiting for one from that very special guy who will mean the world to me.

Oops, a bit sidetracked there, but my point is is that I'm at that time in life where I'm sort of an inbetweener. I'm not a child anymore, but I'm not an adult either. (That means you're a teenager retard!) But no, I'm going to be encountering things, people and changes, some that I'll like, and some which will make life all that bit more difficult. It's all a matter of dealing with it. Some very wise person once said, "You can either ride change, or let change ride you." I think that was from Grey's Anatomy. Oh wait, I lie. Someone said that to Seth when he worried about the changes he was going through with going off to college. Right now though, it's not the changes I'm going through that worry me, but the changes some other people are going through. I suppose I'd like things to stay the way they were before now, when life was a little bit more simpler. It kills me to see people I love doing arsey things they wouldn't normally be doing, for what ever reason is beyond me, potentially putting themselves at risk unnecessarily.

Others it's just a change of heart, and that saddens me. But I can't exactly stop or change the things people do, it's really up to them. I suppose all I can do really is ride out change with them.

Damn I wish I went to surf camp now.

Going Up, Going Down on Valentines Day

2006-03-03T19:31:00.000+13:00

Even though we have now progressed into the month of March (although May would sound so much snappier) I have yet ANOTHER Valentines Day piece to share with you. It is a sampler (well, not really, its more like the whole pie) of my website which I think you should all check out ;) haha self-promotional adversting! Its at http://melslife.50webs.com DONT HESITATE! CHECK IT OUT! And without further adieu, the Going Ups and Downs of Valentines Day (Well more like the ups and no downs, cuz i was too lazy to think of the downers.) Cheers!

Ahh, Valentines Day, a chance for everyone to show their affection for the ones they love. So today, I've collated a Top 5 list of ways of showing you're significant (or not so significant) other that you really care.

5. Roses. Sure if you're into thorny red flowers which cost I heard could send you back $20 a pop. Nice smelling and lovely to receive, if you're sweetie neglected to give you some this year, you may be thinking roses really smell like poo poo poo. None the less Roses are a classic and a more preferred gift for Valentines. If you gave some, well done.

4. Jewellery. Love Don't Cost A Thing. But on Valentines Day however, that doesn't seem to be the case. The saying Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend fares much better on this holiday. Turn your TV onto any channel as it nears February 14th and you'll be bombarded with images of 1 carat diamond rings and heart shaped lockets and pendants. Oh yes, Christmas isn't the only season of giving. If you think you're sweetie has expensive taste, then bop down to your local Michael Hill Jewellers, because you can never go too wrong with diamonds.

3. Food. They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. And there's a reason why chocolate is a classic Valentines Day gift. Food tends to put your lover or date into a good mood, and nothing is more of a turn-off than a loved one denying themselves the simple pleasures. Such as their ability to eat. So ditch you're diet and take you're loved one out for a 'mean feed.' God knows both of you need it. And just as a handy hint: chocolate gives you endorphins, and endorphins make you happy. Happy people have bigger sex-drives.

2. Secret Love Texts. Gone were the days when you'd receive a secret love note in your locker or in your desk. 1) Because I go to an all girls school and 2) because we don't have our own desks. Technology has done away with hand written notes of affections but instead have been replaced with e-cards and irresponsible emailing. However, my favourite modern take on the secret love note, is the secret love text. Whether you're a friend trying to perk up another friend's otherwise loveless Valentine's Day or someone too chicken (at least for now) to tell that secret apple of your eye that you have loved them since primary school, texts this year is my preferred method of communication. Everyone knows how satisfying it is to hear that all familiar "beep beep!" when a new message appears in your inbox, and having to wait impatiently through class before you can check the text whilst your phone slowly burns a gaping hole in your pocket, bag, skirt etc. etc. etc. So there you go, another hint from me for next year ;) Just remember to actually tell the person who you are if they can't work it out for themselves.

1. And finally number one on the list for showing you care on Valentines Day is a condom. Yes, nothing says "I love you" more than "I don't want you to get pregnant!" STIs doesn't quite make the cut on Top 5 list of Valentines Ways of Making People Feel Special either. Cheap and effective, take note because the gift of respect goes far with me :)

Boy-tox

2006-02-25T23:33:00.000+13:00

Yes, it's time for an update, and I thought I'd start with tips on "Boy-toxing." Not to be mistaken with botox, boy-tox, when used correctly, can be very beneficial to your "hauora." It is a useful skill to have after a break-up where you two clearly aren't going to get back together, and those niggling lurrve feelings are getting in your way of achieving a successful and normal relationship with one another.

Most self-help book say that erasing all traces of that certain someone from your life is the first step towards freedom. As Mr Lo my accounting teacher might say, NO! THIS IS WRONG WRONG WRONG! Clearly if you erased them from your life completely, you would have failed in maintaining a semi-normal relationship. No, I believe that it's all a state of mind. Do not burn photos of you two together (unless they are otherwise highly embarrassing or incriminating for one or both parties.) But don't constantly look at them all day long. The key is to take them out of your "inbox" and stick them in your "outbox." What I mean by that is to think about them less and less and less, rather than relating everything scent and smell and feeling with them. Take them from the front of your mind and move them to that lonely and dusty shelf in the back of it. Also, stop worrying about things, problems. Anything slightly problematic from, "OMG! I think he's hitting on my friend!" to "He dumped me because he thinks I have thighs the size of big tree trunks." NO! THIS IS WRONG WRONG WRONG! - haha, I'm quite liking this new phrase. Just, let them fade from you're mind, in that sense.

If you stay firm and are disciplined, I think that you'll find that within 24 hours or less you'll be feeling much better. Doesn't it just feel great having those horrible worries that were once weighing you down off you're back? Life is meant for living, its also far too short to be stuck worrying about things you really don't need to worry about. If you're finding it hard to boy-tox, try this:
Whenever you find yourself worrying about them, thinking about them like that or ranting about them, like that, stop, take a deep breath, and say to yourself, "Boy-tox. I'm on a boy-tox."
Haha, I should write a book or something about that. Like, "He's just not that into you," or "F.R.E.E.D.O.M." Oh dear, I'm sounding like Tony and his infomercialised cassette tapes. Who uses cassette tapes anymore?!

And if all else fails, I tend to listen to songs of love. I don't know why really. Because technically speaking it makes me feel worse, because they're just a constant reminder of something that everyone else has and something that I can't have. It's like Christmas where you've been dying to get a PS2 and you have dropped some "not-so-subtle" hints, and come Christmas Day, you get a Polly Pocket set. And to make it worse, you're a guy. Yeah, you all know the feeling. I'm sure everyone has fallen victim to sad and utter disappointment. I have nothing else to say to the subject. Perhaps James' cocktail has finally gone to my head. NAH I doubt it.

Isn't that sadistically ironic? "I'm Lonely (But I'm Not That Lonely Yet)" just started playing on my laptop.

V - Day

2006-02-11T17:19:00.000+13:00

Valentines Day. A romantic and uplifting holiday? Or something inevitably more sinister?

A day which strikes fear into the hearts of singletons who have dipped their rods into the fishing hole of "lurve" and come home empty-handed and a day where those of us with a significant other find our coin purses considerably lighter.

For me, this year I'll be spending my Valentines Day alone. I'll be the one standing in New Market from across the street or waiting at the traffic light staring jealously at all the smug couples holding hands and canoodling in public. Acronym for you: PDA! (Public Display of Affection, for those you like me who thought it was a form or organisational technology.) Every year I've imagined myself sitting in class minding my own business when all of a sudden a rather flustered Yr 7 on messenger duty would come in carrying an embarrassingly huge bouquet of red roses for me! Imagine the dirty looks I'd get :P for once I wouldn't be the one sending them, but receiving them. I've always had a fetish for a midnight declaration of love or a serenade beneath my bedroom window, and then the knight in shining armour can climb through my window and whisk me away. I do realise that this may prove difficult for my knight as my bedroom is on the second level with no easy way of climbing to my window or through it for that matter as I have security things on my windows. (Perhaps they were put there to keep out more than just thieves!)

But anyway, I have to say even for those who have a loved one who actually RECIPROCATES their feelings for you, Valentines day is a lame and commercial excuse to show how you feel about the one you love. Not to mention an expensive one. Why not show them you care everyday? That way you can make everyone sick to their stomachs, all day, everyday.

Dirty looks count: one hundred and million trilion thousands.

Grey' Anatomy is cool

2006-02-09T20:43:00.000+13:00

In life, what happens to you isn't as important as what happens in you.

What does that mean to you?

Intrepid Journeys Into the Hidden Realm of Mel's Mind

2006-02-06T14:56:00.000+13:00

I thougt about doing a travelling expose into the mind of me, hence the name, but that really it just a way of jazzing up what is also known as blogging.

Where to begin, where to being.
Gah. Am having to start school tomorrow. I should really be trying to savour my last few moments of freedom before I am locked away in classrooms for the rest of the year, where I trudge into the sweat shops of opressive education day in and day out in hideous, jail fashioned uniforms where the ageing prison wardens try to 'teach us a lesson.' Yes, lucky me, and I have now graduated to the level of Senior. I've been waiting for four years to rise to this level. I was sick of being called the "babies" of the middle school, last year I was finally at the top of the ladder, and now, we're the babies again.

Argh talking about school is depressingly boring so I shall stop. Well last Thursday some hideous bug known as ersyphallis or similar (I panicked and thought the doctor told me I had syphallis!) had taken up residence in my left cheek. GAH! Not cool.

Now I'm stuck popping Augmentin, which you can't really pop cuz the stupid pills are so damn big, and applying ointment, not cool either.

So I missed out on what would have been a great day at the beach and Jazz Festival :( but o well, things can only just get better I suppose.

Let's Fade Together

2006-02-01T20:09:00.000+13:00

I've fallen in love with the song by Franz Ferdinand "Fade Together." It's notably one of their fair an few "quiet" songs, but it's a brilliant ballad and I don't know why, but I seem to be able to relate to it somehow.

So far away
Come on I'll take you far away
Let's get away
Come on let's make a get away

Once you have loved someone this much
you doubt it could fade
despite how much you'd like it to
God how you'd like it to fade

Let's fade together

If we get away
You know we might just stay away
So stay awake
Why the hell should I stay awake?
When you're far
Oh god you are so far away

I looked your wall
Saw that old passport photograph
I look like I've just jumped the Berlin Wall
Berlin I love you
I'm starting to fade

Let's fade together

Aren't those words fabulous? Well anyway there's just something that reminds of myself. I don't tend to feel this way too often, but sometimes I feel like I'd like to feel what it's like to be someone else, just for a little while, so that I can see whether everyone else feels the same way as I do. I know they all most probably do but maybe if they didn't, I'd find temporary relief from the grief of day to day life.

I suppose the only notable thing I have to say is that my grandmother has passed away. It's strange what I'm feeling. I never really knew her, the distance and her age and a language barrier stood in our way. But I suppose that would make it feel less worse that I wasn't as close to her as other people are to their grandmas. But then what's left there is a feeling of guilt, I feel as though I never really made the effort to get to know her, but maybe if circumstances were different.

And of course life has other hardships so we can't forget those. Man it is hard to be human, I suppose I can understand why some people might resort to drugs or alcohol, so they could feel something other than hurt.

Thinking is a dangerous sport

2006-01-25T20:24:00.000+13:00

Isn't life, ocassionally, if not more, terribly depressing? I swear it isn't that bad weather that is causing this black hole of a mood. It's probably because I have nothing to do, since everyone is going back to school and I'll be home alone again, all I can do is think, and as you know, thinking is a dangerous sport.

But I wouldn't say its just thinking. Excessive OC watching is also very dangerous in several ways:
1. The lack of exercise which is replaced by OC watching is dangerous to your physical health; you may start to resemble yorkshire pudding, goose fat or similar.
2. Radiation from laptop or other media viewing medium is also bad for health, as it is not only frying you're brains, but you're ovaries as well (unless of course you're a male, but thats another story...)
3. When all spare time is monopolised by the OC, you start to think, act, eat, sleep and breathe like the OC. I've already found that I'm just that little bit shallower, my once deep and expanisve ocean has now reduced in size to a paddling pool, puddle or similar. Bad Summer, bad Summer, very bad influence on me. I've even started to hate Paris Hilton less, thats terrible! When I go shopping Mischa Barton and her Marc Jacobs pops into my head, and refuses to leave. When I check out guys, all I see is Seth, Seth and more Seth. The dark bushy hair and cute clothes will not leave me alone.
4. As you know, The OC is dramatised beyond what people usual consider 'real life.' However I think someone forgot to mention that to me, for I've started to compare certain aspects of my life with the OC. Like my love life, what better day to watch "Rainy Day Women" than on a rainy day! Poor Seth lamenting on his possible loss of Summer forever, gets me thinking about how pathetic my love life is..... arghghghghghghghghghghgh

Love of that sense seems to be a thing that the creator left out of my life when he made me, I feel like something with a hole in the middle, you know, like when you FINALLY finish a 1000 piece puzzle except you find there's only 999 pieces avaliable, its a bit like that, and thats relaly frustrating for both the puzzle and the puzzler.

Ok I've exhausted my "holiness" for now, Seth and his imaginary windscree wipers are just too cute.

The OCD - Chrismukkah Barmitzvakah was the Pitzvikah

2006-01-22T11:19:00.000+13:00

I dunno about you guys but I luurrrvveee the Spark.com. Apart from the killer 'Spark Tests' they have where you can (accurately) calculate how much of a wench you are (the statistics don't lie) or when it is likely that you may die (I don't like my odds) they have some fab articles written by guest editors on all areas of life in 'Spark Life - Get one!' I have taking a bit of a liking to an editor called 'Will' (I'm getting the tall, dark and handsome vibe coming through) who writes a column in the Television section titled 'The OCD.' I have yet to work out what that actually stands for, but he leaves me in no doubt that he is a fabulously witty writer who loves to trash the new season of the OC and perve on all the 'older women' AKA. Julie 'Pooper' Nichol and Kirsten. All signs point to - middle aged man and married. But anyway I have decided to 'graciously' lend my blog space to him so that he may work his satirical wonder on you.

WARNING OC SPOILER AHEAD! ! !

The OCD - Chrismukkah Barmitzvakah was the Pitzvikah

by Will

"I was under the impression after the scenes from the next OC last week that last night's episode was going to be exciting. I mean, I caught a glimpse of Scrawny Johnny wielding a gun, I had a reader suggest that SJ was going to pull an Oliver and try to kill himself in the name of Marissa, and I saw with my own eyes a bar mitzvah celebration with Ryan at center stage. How can you possibly go wrong with a holiday table setup like that? That's like skipping the roast beast and just tearing right into the Yorkshire pudding. Mmm. Unfortunately, my dinner was again ruined by a show with a wimpy script that took very few chances, made very little sense, and probably offended a lot of Jewish people.

Ryan, our working class hero, continues to have his face spit in by his on-and-off girlfriend Marissa and her confusing, ridiculous association with Johnny Harper. (Is this the first time we heard his last name in an episode? Who cares, though.) There is no reason that she should even be talking to that punk. Her problem is that she feels responsible for getting Johnny hit by that car. On the other hand, I think the car was doing the right thing. Get the little guy banged up a bit, ruin his life, and create some drama. Get him hooked on painkillers, make him obsessed with Marissa, and cause a shift in attention from Kirsten to Marissa. Make no mistake—that car has been the most dynamic character this season. And I think it had all-wheel drive and low-APR financing to boot.

Continuing on with Ryan, Seth and Summer get this bright idea to give the guy a bar mitzvah. I don't know about you, but I immediately figured Jews across American would be offended. Do you think I'm overreacting? A bar mitzvah is sort of a sacred event, and while Sandy Cohen made a point to note this, the whole "honorary" bar mitzvah thing turned out (actually) to be a fundraiser, which works to extend the stereotype that all Jews are rich. At my bar mitzvah, I did get some money, but the best part of it was the touch football game I had in the backyard with all of my friends afterwards. No money involved in that. In all seriousness, I think the OC really overstepped its boundaries with this shenanigan. Writers: you should be ashamed of yourselves for stooping this low.

And then there was the strange entrance of Summer's dad into the equation. When has he ever made an appearance? Has he ever been in an episode? Anyway, he's this big-wig plastic surgeon at the local hospital, and before the bar mitzvah charade, he invites Julie Pooper-Nickel into his house "for a drink." I think we were supposed to assume that they'd either (a) hooked up or (b) were probably going to hook up later in the year, when they showed up together to the fundraising scheme. I'd like to be the first to say that if the writers allow Julie and Dr. Roberts to get married and Summer becomes Marissa's stepsister, I might stop watching the show. They've already beaten the whole family-mixing thing to death. It was enough that Julie married Kirsten's now-deceased father, Caleb. It was enough that Lindsay was Kirsten's sister (for a while...I honestly can't remember how that worked out, because I hated Lindsay so much). Keep Summer and her dad out of this. Summer is hot and doesn't need a half-sister. Leave my Summer alone, or you might lose a Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist.

Faithful readers: Let the OC rule for all that view, goodbye my readers 'til Friday anew."

Before I go I'd just like to say that The OC has moved to the new time-slot of appearing on a Thursday night.

That will be all.

P.S I promise Gilmore Girls are coming its just that I need to wait for Monday to come to get some GG-inspiration before embarking on the task.

Where You Lead

2006-01-20T20:26:00.000+13:00

If you're out on the road
Feeling lonely, and so cold
All you have to do is call my name
And I'll be there on the next train
Where you lead, I will follow
Anywhere that you tell me to
If you need, you need me to be with you
I will follow where you lead

Sigh! I love Gilmore Girls! I'd honestly have to say it is the most fantabulous wholesome show on TV. There's no sex (except for when Paris recently had sex for the first time with Jamie. No graphic detail there of course, except Paris and I have established that Harvard only takes in virgins.)

No violence (except for when Jess and Dean get into a fight, but then again they only engage in a bit of male swaggering and chest poking.)

And no swearing (except for the time when Lorelai got really angry because Jess was responsible for a car crash involving Rory and a ... some small roden-like animal as such, causing Lorelai to shout "Go to hell!" angrily at Luke. That was a tense moment for all at Stars Hollow that night.)

But other than wholesome family goodness which is hard to find in a lot of television nowadays (The OC is one shining example.) it is dead funny, romantic and dramatic all at the same time. But mostly funny. Although I'd say it posesses a sophistocated humour which often involves so much rambling that characters become completely dazed and utterly confused, therefore their interlectual sinking/drowning in a pool of ramblings makes us laugh. Aren't we a sadistic race of people who laugh at others misfortune? Haha, not really.

What I love more than anything else about Gilmore Girls, is not the girls. But the boys. :O

Oh yes. Gilmore Girls has paid tribute to a number of young hotties (and the not so hot or young....ewwww my mum commented that Luke was hotter than Jess. EW!)

Like Tristin (not my favourite character) played by the insipid *cough sorry my Chad Michael Murray dislike is getting the better of me* Chad Michael Murray. Did you know that the name Tristin means very sad man. I couldn't have said it better myself.

And then there was Dean.... *shudder* i hate Dean. I really, really, dislike him. The ugly giant with the yucky hair who was soo horrible to Rory and dumped her at the Dance-a-thon. Dispicable.

<--- Ahhhh. Now there is one for whom I have very fond memories of. Jess. The almighty deitie of hotness. His poofy hair and dark features makes him a bad boy to die for..... But of course the mind is sexier than the body (yeah *awkward laugh* of course) and Jess is a complete and utter intellectual genius who absorbs books like a ... bookworm. He's even a margin-scribbler! Now if only he'd stop cutting class and start applying himself.... He's a great kisser too! Did you know that? I'd keep on going (oo I could go on and on all day with him. Ooops, I mean, on him. Wait that sounded slightly wrong too.)

And then there was Dave! ---> Who also goes by the alias' Seth Cohen and Adam Brody. In a world, a time and space where the OC did not exist, there was Dave. Although his hair seemed to lie a bit more "flatter" against his head, Dave was always my centre of attention (when Jess wasn't around that is) There's nothing better than a boy who can play a guitar, sing hymns and lead a local Korean community during a church service. Or that's what Mrs Kim thought. I'd kill to be Lane (what sort of name is that by the way?! If you can call a kid Lane, what about calling my daughter Avenue?) who gets to go out with the very sweet, very cute and very musically talented Adam -I mean Dave.

I've spent a while going on about the guys in Gilmore Girls, which makes me think, what about the girls?! After all, it is called Gilmore Girls for a reason. But '24' is calling, I think the Chinese consulate is going to die and Jack Bauer is breaking yet another dozen laws, so check back soon for 'Gilmore Girls, no really!' where we turn our spotlights to the starlets of Stars Hollow. The Good, the Bad, and the downright Gellar (I mean evil.... well she is like the devil incarnate. Aww I'm being mean now so i'll stop.)

To Deserve, or not to deserve?

2005-12-23T14:37:00.000+13:00

Whilst on my journeys I have heard many people use phrases and strings-of-words containing the word 'deserve.' I tend to find the word 'deserve' is often, if not only, used in the context of a man deserving a woman, or the other way round. But more often referred to a 'man deserving a woman.'

Through some insightful discussion with a person who's name is not to be revealed, we have concluded that this is rubbish. My first thought when I hear people use this word is :
"How very cliche you are! You'd be a dead ringer for a love-struck male in a soppy romantic-comedy."

My next thought is then :
"Which would mean that mostly males are the ones who use this phrase."

Which gets me thinking :
"This person must either have self-esteem issues or they're unusually self-absorbed"

After more thought :
"Depending on which end of the "deserving" scale they're on. With "I don't deserve her!" being HIGH and "They don't deserve me!" being LOW. Very low indeed."

Thinking is a very dangerous sport I reckon, however I journeyed on through the perilous jungle of my thoughts and decided : "It all sounds rather stupid" and "How would know whether or not a person measures up to you?" or, a concept which can be applied to the more common concept of the term, "We all have dirty laundry."

And I will reply with : "Want a date to the laudromat?"

My very insightful friend also pointed out :
"I tend to stay away from using the word 'deserve' because the way I see it, everybody is equal (But some are more equal than others! *excuse my random thoughts*) so I think of the reason being that they are just not right for each other rather than one not deserving the other."

Bravo my friend, bravo.

Feast your eyes upon the Brody goodness (Adrien not Adam.)
Just checking
PS. Talk about a 'blind' dog! *ba dom dom cccchhhh*
or in the immortal words of Basil Brush *Ha Ha Ha BOOM BOOM!*

I Capture Reality

2005-12-14T16:25:00.000+13:00

Am I doomed to dream about what happens to movies and using them as my parallel to real life? In the last 24 hrs, I have watched:
I Capture the Castle
Bridget Jones Diary: The Edge of Reason
Possession
Not to mention the fact ive also seen a two hour stage show, the Merchants of Bollywood, I think that should count too, a borderline case shall we?
I've worked out I spend maybe a tad too much of my time watching movies and fantasising of the what might have been rather than what can actually be.
Yesterday I compared nearly everything that happened to a movie like Bridget Jones, or Love Actually, or some other movie I can quote. Its terrible!

Christmas, the best season of the year!

2005-12-09T20:59:00.000+13:00

Wahoo!! The school year is finally over for me and I am free to do what ever I want! Its been such as different sort of year for me, the work has been harder and just different stuff has happened. I can't believe that I've finally "graduated" from the middle school and the sailor suits and moving on to being a senior, is weird! Where'd all the time go? One minute I'm a Yr 7 fresh out of primary school with nothing but stuffing (and a little extra) for brains and then next im nearly 16. That was four years ago.

In less than four years time, I'll be starting university. Thats a really scary thought, I don't think I can possibly imagine myself then.

Ooo, I'm listening to the newly 'leaked' Strokes album "First Impressions of Earth." What can I say? Its certainly "different". I certainly won't slam it because it isnt bad at all. It's just so different from what their usual signature stuff is. It's, mellow.... Except for Juicebox of course. That video clip is in no way MELLOW. But I mean, their song, "Clear Skies" reminds me of driving down a desert road, like the Gwyneht Paltrow and Huey Lewis song "Cruising". And "15 Minutes of Pain" reminds me of riding a Merri-Go-Round. Ooo, so painful. Its lost me interms of the Strokes, but generally, the songs are well written and good.

Anyway Ive totally veered off track. Back to Christmas. Makes me want to watch Love Actually (which I did. Actually.) Lol that title makes no sense. Actually. Just the whole love and Christmas, the wonderful season of giving (and receiving) I'm making it sound incredibly shallow which makes people start to hate this season, but I'm starting to want to get into it more and get a real Christmas experience. Like actually getting a present for my little brother even I though I have an extremely limited credit of nil income. So, I've started by giving my friends Christmas cards WITH personalised messages. I hate when people give me a card with "Hey great to have you in the class" even though they probably couldn't stand me. Makes me feel special when they make an effort to think about the relationship they had with me that year. So I like to do the same. As I've already mentioned I've also bought people Christmas presents (OMG she is on drugs?) No I have really, and I intend to do more shopping. AND as Sam said I'm a Christmas in the Park virgin (lovely title there) so I've decided to actually attempt to go to Christmas in the Park.

This year will be the most Christmasy year ever! I'm going to try and decorate the house accordingly and if I'm lucky, outdoor Christmas lights, WOOHOO!!!! Although I think my next door neighbour has already taken the liberty of doing that for me. He has spectacular lights going over the driveway and into our trees. Bravo, and hes only what 17?

Anyway I'm suffering from lower back ache, the reason is beside me so I'm going to rest my reticulators on a soft mass of sponge, springy coils and material, better known as a mattress.

All I Want for Christmas , is You!

A Hard Day's Night

2005-12-06T21:39:00.000+13:00

PHEW, you have no idea how long it took me to transfer all my old blog entries from one place to another.

I'm so glad i don't have a really LONG blog otherwise I'd honestly never finish.

Anyhoo, holidays finally, yay!

UPDATE TO COME.

But as a footnote, Mel isn't feeling all that good today. She should be since schools over, but due to unfortunate circumtances, she isn't.

Goodnight. My nasal passages are giving me grief!

2005-12-06T21:21:00.000+13:00

In My Father's Den

2005-11-17T13:48:00.000+13:00

Hah that title sounded dodgy. No well I'm referring to the book and movie I've just read/watched. Absolutely bloody fantastic, you'll have to read/see for yourself.

Anyway today I had my first external examination, "They're fun a?" says Sam which I suppose I'll mildly agree with. Anyhoo it was too bad despite the lack of theme based essay questions and a frightful 1.6 Unfamiliar texts booklet which made us look at some gay comic and made us interpret a stupid Shortland Street script and rugby commentary. Very Kiwi.

I feel like bumming around soo much now that 6 out of my 7 exams are over, although since these past few weeks have been devoted to school life, unfortunately I don't know what to do with myself anymore now that the work is over. How sad they all whisper.

A fabulous incident happened during the exam before we started we had to change desks because we all had the wrong papers and I made the mistake of picking up my plastic bag full of stationery which was open upside down. So as I stood up and turned around I sort of showered the person in front of me with pens and highlights. Highly embarrassing.

So right now I'm feeling pretty dry, I don't have anything to do : ( argh like major identity crisis, although ever so slightly less horrific. I suppose because basically all my goals I had have been "achieved" and so I have nothing to look forward to. "WHERE'S MY PRIZE TIME?!" oh you bet Matt the Sex Guy. (Guy from Sex with Attitude)I think I need to set some goals (feeling sorry for people like the guy from About a Boy who does nothing but laze around all day and arrange his time around 30 min slots. Apparently an hour doing something is too daunting for him.)
Argh its like New Years Eve come early, what do I want to do/achieve in the near/far future?

1. Start writing and actually finish my novel/semi-biographical book
2. See Pride and Prejudice (AGAIN) - that'll be easy to achieve I'm going next week.
3. Get a boyfriend (argh pathetic I know but get to know my pathetic situation before you judge me, please.)
4. Send Christmad cards to people and get presents for people (I refuse to be a Grinch this year. Do ut des - I give in order that you may give ;)
5. Go shopping! (easily achieved and Christmas pressie hunting can be achieved.) ... (I'll stay clear of Country Road if they're having a sale...)
6. Beg my parents to let me drop Chinese as a language (J'adore Aubergine! French is where its at!)
7. Go to Europe! (and maybe pick up a European husband while I'm at it. I'm legal next year!)or
8. Get myself a Mr Darcy - or one slightly less snobby - Maybe a Mr Knightly?Anyway this has become way too long winded so I'm going to knock off.

P.S. Emma Watson sucks

Words from a Weary Traveller

2005-09-17T06:11:00.000+12:00

Hey there ho and happy days!I've just touched down in Singapore and its like 7 in the morning here. I'm at the Changi Airport waiting in transit to go to KL and I'm missing all you guys sorely! The flight wasn't too bad, although in some ways I still find travelling in planes hell.The best bit of the flight was when it was about 6 in the morning and and we were coming into Singapore. The sun was just starting to come up over the horizon and it was sending a spectrum of colour over the sky. It was really cool because we were sorta like racing the sun.
Anyhoo its apparently 26 degrees at the moment. I thought that was an ok temperature until Dad told me that it was only the morning and it was about to get hotter.
What else is there to say... ooo! I watched Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants and it reminded me of you guys dearly. Oh /i'm missing you guys so much! Please email me or something so we can keep in touch. I forgot to bring my phone with me so I don't you guy's mobile numbers or home addresses so please email them to me if you can so I can contact you! :D
Keep on reading my blog.
Lots of love and missing you guys already, Mel

I can hear freedom calling, shame i can't smell

2005-09-14T15:13:00.000+12:00

It's wonderous the feeling of relief after exams (and what a shame the marks don't actually count for anything.) The holidays are calling to me, with only 1, 2, 3, 4 days till go! I'm going to be embarking on a much needed vacation to Malaysia. Ooo, exotic Malaysia; truly Asia. (As advertised on the Malaysia Airline ad.) But at the moment I'm feeling a bit down in the dumps as I have just contracted a cold :(Aww they all sigh, she has a cold! Just before she's about to go away! (An explaination for why I can't smell freedom! I certainly can't taste anything at the moment as I worked out at dinner. I could however still feel the chili burning on my tongue from the chili con carne.)

Anyway I'm flying off on Thursday night (or make that Friday morning?) as I'm flying off at midnight. Hmm, since the flight is at that time of day, maybe I should post-pone the movie marathon till the return flight home. (Woohoo! Singapore Airlines with personal tvs, hundreds of movie channels and... UNCENSORED!) Dun dun dun!!!!

I'll land in KL sometime later, after my sedation (Thank God for travelling pills!) And for once we're staying in the city for a short time instead of going straight to my grandma's house which is swarming with mosquitoes, its horrible! Its like suicide! I've armed myself with natural insect repellent and my mosquito avoidance tactics developed after years of mosquito dodging experience.

I'm especially looking forward to the shopping (our exchange rate is up and now $NZ1 is equivalent to $RM2.50!) and seeing my cousins! (well most of them anyway...)

The only downside is that my little 'excursion' will take me away for the whole of the holidays leaving me only 2 days or the last weekend of the holidays to hang out with my friends :( so i'd love it if you guys could keep your last weekend free if possible :D

Anyhoo I'd better leave you guys too it! I dunno how I'm going to cope with the lack of technology... my iPod will probably die on me before I land in KL otherwise it's hard-drive will fizzle because of the terribly hot weather!

ARGH! I forgot about the terribly hot weather! Oh dear, monsoon season too! ( ;) - to all those geographers out there!)

Did I mention the mosquitoes?

Embarrassment is key

2005-08-31T16:20:00.000+12:00

Must embarrassment be key if one is to achieve greatness? Ok, its not as though I want to be a great dicator, figure head or the likes, but what cost does lifes embarrassments come at? Especially if they aren't to come to anything at all?

I have been humoured with more than my fair share of embarrassing moments in my life time, and they weren't necessarily all my fault! (I swear!) There's far too many to name (lest the ones that I wish to forget) that if I try to recall them all now (which would be physically impossible)we'd be here all day.
Take today for example. For those of you who read Megan's blog (and I bet a fair few of you do) you may have read that at the debating finals we ended up giving my number to a certain "Percy Weasley." Now I wouldn't say that that was the embarrassing part (because it wasn't, much to my surprise.) But rather the events that followed on the next day (today). In our debating 'unbrief' or 'rebrief.' (Depants me here for all I care!) ... (lol I had a random out burst there.)I can't quite recall what we were talking about but anyway I asked Amy who was the Kings guy who was sitting next to her as chairperson and she said his name was James. And then she goes on to mention that apparently he was trying to hit on her and started talking to her etc. etc. and so forth.
Smack in the face no#
1. Percy Weasley hits on Amy
and...
2. So obvious even Mrs Ashby noticed him giving her sideways glances every now and then.

Ouch.

Ok, it doesnt sound so bad to you right? But to me, my stomach sorta twisted itself into a knot. Oo, my stomach is doing the same thing right now. Just to me, the person you had your eye on (ever so slightly, just a Kings bathroom cleaner fume reprocussion) ... (damn that stuff could beat pot any day!) and then finding out they were hitting on another member of your team, who also happened to be younger than you, is a bit degrading somehow.

Asking people out, or the person you like finding out you like them is the epitome of embarrasment. Trust me. I've already experienced it once.Or twice.
Maybe three.
How about we make that four?

However many times it has happened, the sharp, acute feeling of embarrasment and the sense of dread you experience as the blood rushes to your face as you start to blush never loses its edge. Priceless.

Priceless only because it would be damn near impossible to find someone on earth willing to put a price on your life's embarrasing moments.

The Best Organiser

2005-08-19T19:32:00.000+12:00

Is it just me, or do things never seem to go according to plan? Emma says I'm cliche-ridden, but it's true! At least for me that is.

One obvious thing I'm dismally failing at is my quest for the One. Already I've made it through 15 years of my life (just barely) completely loveless and in need of a hand to hold. Damn, I am cliche-ridden. I have come to a sudden realisation that if already 15 years of my life has been spent loveless, it is unfortunately possible to spend another 15 years on the sidelines waiting for the One. I'd be 30! THIRTY! That's only 2 years younger than Bridget Jones when she embarks on her quest to find a suitable male counterpart and decides to purchase her very fateful. Those odds are very reassuring. I would not look forward at all to the prospect of being a spinster forever. All those lonely nights... haha no thinking of anything in particular, just even having someone to talk to and keep you company is enough... for now. I just feel if i don't find love, I'll end up a bitter and twisted old lady who will develop a morphine addiction (Hah, Mrs Dubose!) in an attempt to stop her broken heart from aching. As predicted in Bridget Jone's Diary, I will eventually die (rather slowly is the vibe I'm getting) fat and alone, and will be found 3 weeks later half eaten by alsatians. How the alsatians got into my apartment is beyond me.

It is one thing to like someone, but to find someone you like who likes you back is another. I'm sorry to say I don't think I've found someone that fits the later, or at least at the same time. I always seem to find that things for once may finally seem to be going my way, and that I would have finally found Mr Right, or at least Mr Right Now. But oh no no, delusional Mel has got it all wrong. Sad turn of events which are totally unexpected occur, and poof! I'm back where I started. The best organiser I believe would take things as they come. Being slightly less hopeful means less of a let down. I should try that one day.

Why does everything happen to me?

2005-06-03T16:43:00.000+12:00

Argh why does stuff that I can't deal with happen to me? Well, why is it that I always fall for a guy I can't get? I seriously hate my life sometimes. Anyway today at youth group the topic was 'Families' and *cough* was asked what did his sibling do that annoyed him the most? Answer? "That my little sister always wants to talk to May-Lee." Oh thanks for that, its not my fault if she wants to talk to me, do you really expect me to say no? She's not that annoying after all, and I don't mind being a bit like a sister to her, after all I sometimes wish I had a sister myself.

I wish I had some nice, LOUD angry music to listen to. Might make me feel better. Maybe if i blasted it loud enough, I might go deaf and then would therefore be unable to hear my heart breaking all the time. Times like these you just wished you could crawl into a hole and die sometimes. I just feel so crap about myself it ain't funny. I mean, its not as if I don't want to get over him, cuz obivously, who would want to fruitlessly feel like me right now all the time? I mean I basically feel this 24/7 most days and it feels awful. It's not that I don't want to get over him sometimes, I just seem unable to do it. Feel like I got no control over myself.

I just feel so terrible.

Once a spinster, always a spinster.

2005-05-26T14:51:00.000+12:00

I haven't had a go at this subject in a while. In fact I was cool being single, always constantly chasing after my beloved until today. I just had a jolt back to realising how much I hate being single. I realli do hate it. Its not a cliqued sort of thing to worry about, such as "Omg! All my friends have boyfriends except me" etc. etc. But the thing is is that I have genuinely had a longing for someone of my own since, oh I can't remember. I just know I had already developed a crush for someone in my first week of ever starting school. (Oh boy, you think, her hormones starting pumping early, eh?) But I really want to go out with someone, not just for the hell of it. I have honestly been born into a cursed spinster life of which I can't escape. People always say to me "Oh Mel don't worry, going out with people ain't all its cracked up to be," and stuff but if it isn't, why do people keep on going out? I feel as though I'm missing out on the best thing in life, like I missed the last boat out of my hell hole of a love life and I'll be stuck here for an eternity. Bridget Jones isn't at all as crazy as she's cracked up to be. The idea of having to spend the rest of eternity by yourself is not pretty, in fact its rather scary.

I look rather like Miss Jones here, except lets replace that famous diary of hers of a nice shiny laptop. Awesome stuff. Yes well the prospect of beign a love pariah for the rest of my life is not very appealing. Thinking of it too much will probably start me off on a nail biting frenzy, like Bridget here.

Well, as they say, Once a spinster, always a spinster.

In fact not as they say, for I just made it up :)

ALL HACKERS WILL DIE!!!

2005-05-11T14:57:00.000+12:00

THE F-ING SCREWHEAD WHO MESSED WITH MY BLOG IS GOING TO DIE!!! I WILL PUMP YOU SO FULL OF LEAD THEY'LL HAVE TO USE YOU FOR A PENCIL INSTEAD!!

AND THEN I'LL THROW YOU IN THE FIRE AND BURN YOU!

ARGHGHGHGH! IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MAD I AM FOR IDIOTS LIKE YOU WHO MESS WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S STUFF.

P.S JUST BECAUSE THE INTERNET IS A PUBLIC DOMAIN AND THERE MAY BE MANY SEAS AND OCEANS BETWEEN US DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE SAFE. SO YOU'D BETTER WATCH OUT.

I dream of killing the person who screwed with my work.

Why does my heart feel this way?

2005-04-30T17:21:00.000+12:00

Haha for those of you audiophiles, you may be familiar with the Moby song "Why Does My Heart?" and that's where I ripped off my title from. Unfortunately, if I am correct, those, or should I say 'that' is the only real spoken lines in the song, and less you count someone going "Heee, Ho ho ho, Heeee, ho ho ho" over and over again 'lines.' I think not. You know, the hee ho ho thing gives me the weird image of a very 'large' person pacing themselves while eating, making the totally weird sound of "heee, ho ho" as they go. Hah, I bet you that Moby is just a cheapskate like me and went past a fat person eating with a tape recorder and neglected to give them the royalties for their hard work.

Shame on you Moby. Maybe that's why your new CD "Hotel" isn't doing too well.

Hehe, I've sorta lost track on the 'heart' thing, but here goes. Everyone says that I should just forget about Andrew. Anyway, I couldn't remember what I was lamenting about this time to do with him except for the fact that he, hmm, oh I dunno, happens to like NINE, that's right NINE girls, all at the same time! Where is the fairness in that! And apparently, earlier on in the day, he liked fourteen. FOURTEEN girls. Oh come on man, that is soo totally not on! His friend says he's just 'confused about who he likes' and all this new age crap, but really... WHAT IS THERE TO BE CONFUSED ABOUT!? I told his friend that he seriously needs to see a shrink or something like a head doctor, because he is having some serious issues. Like Girl-o-rama-itis or something. Woa, now that is getting serious. Could you detect the sarcasm there? I bet you could.

But how?! He obviously can't tell the difference between infatuations and genuinely liking someone. He really needs to become more acquainted with the terms LOVE and LUST. And I thought that I liked loads of people. (According to Shav I am the definition of Obsessed.)...(Which is a good thing! She quickly adds.) Hmmm. :)

Woa, Blast from the Past. Ben just signed in (a lot of you won't have been acquainted with Ben) and he has, from what it looks like, a very recent picture on his MSN display pic. Yes, well my memory kinda went crazy and I found myself staring at it for a minute or two. Is it cause I happened to find him rather hot? Well, yeah I have to say he was. Hmm, right, must not let shallowness get the better of me. Funny thing actually because like yesterday he asked me out of the blue, "Would you go out with me?" and I'm like "Whaaat" and he's like "Well Erica (oh great that b*tch :O excuse moi) said that anyone would go out with me because I was hot. (woa, you're modest)" And I said, "Well I wouldn't know." This would be because I haven't seen him since yr 8 or something. I hate the lil BEEP BEEP BEEP, that lil BEEP BEEP should go to BEEP BEEP BEEP.

*Cough* anyway. I've sooo veered off the heart thing. But let me let you ponder on this thought. Love and stuff like that is associated with the heart right? But then, love is an abstract concept, real, but abstract. So technically it shouldn't have anything to with your heart, the organic kind, because it ain't science. (Yeah you can throw that crap about 'chemistry' out the window, because science and love don't go together.) But then, why is it that when something bad, say you get badly rejected or you find some bad news out about someone you love, (or in Andrew's case lust after) does you heart feel like its shrivelling up? It's a sorta prickly, I'm shrinking in the dryer like my jeans and woolen garments, sorta feeling. So.

Why does my hear feel so bad?

Is that sad, or what?

2005-04-29T07:12:00.000+12:00

Man, I am so bored I have been reduced to reading Chinese Cinderella. Again. Now that is sad. It's not that I find the school holidays boring, but the fact I don't have anything to do, which of course is very booring.

So boring it could make your head bleed. Ain't dat right suh.Well as you can see I've completely revamped my whole blog! Isn't it neat? I'm so very proud of it, for it is my darling, my squishy. It'll be a lil squishy and I'll take it home and it'll be mine forever and ever and ever. I think it rocks! Like the touch of "Strokiness" I added to it?

If you get bored by my ramblings, it's because, just like you, I am bored. B-O-R-E-D. And with nothing to do I seem to float into fantasmica land. Woohoo! I've even so bored as to start plotting what I'd do with the Strokes came to New Zealand for a concert :O.

I said that no force on earth would be able to stop me from going to that concert.

Except for maybe my parents. Maybe.

But then I thought, I'm a nice responsible girl whom my parents trust. So for once, I'm going to betray that trust. Muahaha, that sounded evil. Breaking the rules for once sounds cool. Or. I could get (as Jamie put it) Andrew to come along and protect me :D AHH! Apparently dad said he'd take me if they did come. NOOOOOOO!!

(Only benefits would be that he'd be able to pick me up and hopefully I have a deja-vu rendition of the 3 Days Grace concert from 'Raise Your Voice.')

(Btw that movie sucks.)

Oh yeah that's right, and when I get to sit on ANDREW'S shoulders, not dad's Julian Casablancas will grab my hand and pull me up on stage. WOOHOO! And invite me backstage after the show to meet THE BAND!

*cough* Yeah I'm a tad too lazy to finish this entry because it's much more more fun crushing pixelated monks of a Middle Aged town with damn friggin* knights chasing me. Btw, I'm a dragon called Trogdor.

I dream of burnation.

Nick Valensi makes me drool, so does pizza.

2005-04-27T16:30:00.000+12:00

Howdy howdy howdy. Hehe, I'm strangely bored. My butt is asleep because I' have nothing to do but save endlesss lists of Nick Valensi pictures on my laptop. I seriously need to finish my English essay, which I'm totally hating at the moment.
Oh, but here's something Nick Valensi unrelated: It was my birthday on Sunday :O Did that surprise you? I bet it did. Well it was a b'day and what a great one it was. (Unlike last year, one of THE worst birthday's ever. Want to hear more? Well, everyone FORGOT my birthday accept for my family (well obviously) and two friends. TWO! :'( ) Not cool. But anyway I had a great one this year! I had lots of birthday texts which made my day :D and I have an Ipod Mini on the way (arrival time unknown, as the demand for them is so high, that they've run out and need to order more in from a far away place overseas somewhere. Hmmm.

Nick Valensi living in New York makes we wish was American. Desperately. Or to just go for a vey LONG stalkerish holiday to the Big Apple to find him and GET A PICTURE WITH HIM. (And while I'm at it, I might as well get a video of him and maybe 'request' a private audience with him and his Epiphone Riviera P-94. No you say? Otherwise he little doggie Lizzie gets it. Sorry Lizzie!)

Ahhh! His guitaring skills amaze me everytime. :O ... :O...
"I'm sorry I think we've lost her."
"Doctor Doctor, what's wrong with her?"
"I believe she's gone into a state of Nick Valensi Shock."
"Nick Valensi Shock?"
"Yes I'm sorry, there's nothing we can do."
*breaks out into retardedly obvious fake soap opera crying*

I LOVE HIM!

I CANNOT wait for their new CD to come out, I've been eating and sleeping The Strokes all holidays, oh yes I'm crazy, but then again I have nothing better to do. In fact I'm so bored right now, I'm desperate to drop off to sleep.

Now that is sad.

I want to dream of Nick Valensi (Andrew's cool too, but I can't control my brain so... Away! Into the great blue Oblivion.)

Spontanity is not for Me.

2005-04-21T11:42:00.000+12:00

As you can tell from the title, I was not born to be spontaneous in the sense I could get into serious trouble. A life on the road with a very cool rock band sounds great. I think I could cope with that. As long as we have our own mini-bus or person who organises all my transport.

But public transport is a another story. Oh yes, I think I may soon develope a phobia of public
transport. By myself of course. Well, let me begin my story.

(Prior to this entry *look out below!* we talked about 'Life on the Road.' I think I might dedicate my blog to my less fabulous and glamourous life as a 'rockstar-to-be' or at least as a 'band-aid.') ... (watchers of 'Almost Famous' know what I'm talking about.)

Tales from the Road

2005-04-20T15:33:00.000+12:00

I am so damn desperate to go on tour with a rock n roll band (even better if I'm in it but I'm not picky) it hurts. But it's all good.

You see I've been reading these really cool diary entries written by like a tour manager guy or someone who travels with the Strokes on some of their tours and shows and the life on the road sounds FAN-BLOODY-TASTIC!!! I so friggin wish I was him (preferably in the form of a girl no doubt as I don't think Nick would be too turned on by the 'tootsie roll' in my pants.)...(IF I were a guy of course.)...(which I'm not.)...(Stop looking at me like that!)

So anyway they seem to have this fantasmical life I soo wish I'd have, after seeing 'Almost Famous,' doing 'acid' and throwing myself off the roof of someone's house who I did not know into a very dirty cess-pool of a swimming pool seemed very attractive. Dead leaves and dirt is extremely exotic when you are as stoned as that guy was.

Let me give you a glimpse, my very cool-life friends into the world that I wish I had...
I love the ridiculous.

<--Bunny!"Nikolai, Albert, Julian and I all drove out to the airport together and stumbled through JFK, collecting a rabbit on the way. The rabbit ended up sharing a first class seat with Albert. Julian slept and enjoyed a strange, ripe silence with the grumpy bloke sitting next to him. Rabbit envy, no doubt."

Oh but wait, there's more!

"During the meal the airline chose to show documentary footage of people starving in Africa, which seemed odd. Passengers spooned doughy desserts into their mouths while boney African children stared at the camera."

I love these people. If only I actually knew them.

"Julian spent more than a little time in the crowd—thanks to anyone who's drink he appropriated—you shall be remembered fondly, if a little fuzzily.

"On the drive back into San Francisco we stopped again at the drive-in In and Out burger by the venue. We waited in line in our van for about half an hour and gave the world’s most convoluted burger order to the long suffering late night staff. $52 later we got a steaming mountain of meat, cheese, bread, fries and ketchup. It wasn’t pretty. "

At the hotel bloated band and friends rolled groaning onto the sidewalk. Bellmen helped the worst casualties to their rooms on carts. The weak-willed whimpered vainly for burgerectomies and new stomachs. We left the worst of them outside to see who would last through the night."

Three Words for you

2005-04-18T16:47:00.000+12:00

I have three words for you.

Of course not including this sentence.

No-one.

Understands.

Me.

Breaking News. We'll have a live feed coming soon.

When I can actually be stuffed writing it.

I'm so f-ing miserable sometimes.

He's the skinniest person I'd ever seen!

2005-04-17T06:50:00.000+12:00

OMG! I HAVE TO GO SEE THE STROKES BEFORE I AM OLD AND WHITHERED AND UNABLE FIGHT THE SWARMING MASSES OF MOSH PITTERS!

Yeah well my title came from this entry I read in an a cool as Nick Valensi blog ...

Before I one again try to rewrite this entry I'd like to say I'm pretty pissed cuz it took me ages to do it last time and what do you know? When I go to hit the 'Save Entry' button, lo and behold the Ebloggy server crashes. It crashes!! So here I am.

I do remember writing something to Emma about yes I was rather stressed out in the last week of school and therefore cut this entry short before hand to finish at a later date.

Yes well as I was saying I was in hot pursuit of anything Nick Valensi, as he is my lurrver and I love him dearly. So anyway I came across this neat as bloggy thing where loads of Nick Valensi 'enthusiasts' like myself join together and post entries. :D

So anyway I saw this neat as entry about these girls who went to a Strokes concert (damn you lucky things!!) and hence my title. Here's some of the entry I "extracted" from the website but you can check the full version by clicking this linky-link thing here.

"The sound guys set for ages and left a trail of alchoholic beverages leading to the instrumnets so the strokes wouldnt lose their way. (alright i made that up)"

"Finally after what seemed like forever they come out onto the stage. nick was wearing a shirt, tie, sportcoat, and ripped jeans (there he is!!)...(says Mel). more on him later. :O nikolai was wearing jeans a black t-shirt. fab was wearing jeans and a t shirt, i think. albert was wearing a velour jacket and jeans, julian was wearing a black coat over a white shirt."

On the band:
overall they were just as i imagined them and they looked even better live that any picture i have ever seen of them. the were all shiny and sweaty becuase of the tmeperature in that place.

This is for Emma M, *cough* who is in Europe right now and forgot to say bye to me :'( btw, I have to agree with random Strokes girl cuz Julian does look real good in person.
julian: wow, he didnt look creepy at all! the pictures ive seen of him dont him do justice. he had a great live voice.

nikolai: he, as did the rest of them looked much better in person than in photos. he diidnt look creepy either and his fingers are long. really fucking long. its unfair i tell you!

fab: i couldnt se much of him, but although he was short he was still totally gorgeous.

albert: he was a really kickass guitar player, i didnt even know it was him that did alot of the tricky solos.

nick: he is probably the skinniest person ive ever seen. hes so fucking tall too!. jesus, (I frown upon that phrase!) he looked ten times better live than he did in any photo!! (I bet he did you lil...) wow, that was incredible. the great thing was he was on the side of the stage closest to us. he was literally dripping sweat, (:O droooool) i mean big drops, understanbly though seeing as he was a coat. tsk, crazy sexy guitar player, (damn right he is) i thought he would pass out on the spot. he has really awesome cheekbones.

<-- This is Nick. Say hi to everyone!

Hmm I like the sound of those cheekbones :D

I dream of tall, skinny guys with great cheek bones.

The 'What If' factor

2005-03-24T02:15:00.000+12:00

I was sitting in the car today with mum driving home form school and she was like "So are you glad you went to Dio instead of Waikowhai or Lynfield?" Of course I was, but then I got thinking about what happens 'if' I did go there? I would have met Andrew and Laura and stuff a year and a half earlier, and our relationships could be like totally different than from the ones we have now. I mean, may I'd hate him at the moment or we could even be going out :O Oh my that sounds outrageous doesn't it?

Gets you thinking doesn't it? I mean maybe I would be a totally different person if I had gone there instead of here. Because I think I was a bit evil before I came to Dio if you get my drift. And then I wouldn't know all you guys! But then again, also I wouldn't have known all my friends from youth group, because maybe knowing people you go there too early on in time may have stopped me from going to the church I do go to :O

:O - Lol, sorta gobsmacked at the moment
RECAP ON 'IF' FACTOR:
1. I could be a totally different person
2. I would have totally different friends
3. A whole whizz-bang world of other random opportunities I have had yet to discover.

I'm listening to the OC mix 2. Haha no I did not buy it, I'm listening to it live via the website, check it out :) Click here to get a taste of the OC experience (musically of course.) Hmm, now I wanna buy the CD.

I dream of Bagel.

Death by Compass

2005-03-12T04:37:00.000+13:00

Forgive me if I try to commit suicide by stabbing myself with a compass, because it is totally justified, by Romeo and Juliet standards.

Why?

(apparently it's time to internalise, but who cares.)

Andrew (I don't care about privacy anymore, my plight must come to light!!) is apparently, according to my friend Rebekah and his best friend Joel, he is going to ask Angelina (one of his FIVE crushes (crushees?) out.

So am totally and utterly depressed. AND (oh wait! but there is more!) If HE doesn't ask her out, SHE is going to ask him out! I've probably known her longer than he has, she used to be in my Chinese class. So, I'm feeling pretty special at the moment. :) <--- that's sarcasm by the way. :)ANDHe's going away to athletics champs this weekend

SO...He ain't coming to ice skating :'(ANDWe can't do his birthday surprise, because he's probably going to still be at athletics on Sunday, his birthday!!!So my whole damn weekend has been flushed down the toilet, and I'm pissed, the birthday surprise had been planned since DECEMBER!! (or was it January? Oh well doesn't matter, it's A LOT OF TIME):) So don't be disturbed my dear children if you find a girl trying to stab herself with her compass, it is totally justified.

The Mel is BACK!

2005-03-06T16:16:00.000+13:00

HAHA! Yay! I finally got my old blog back! There are a few entries missing but its all good :) I'm having a pretty cool week and am very excited about this weekend :O This weekend I'm going ice skating!! Keanu* better come, I know he's a ice skating sorta guy, don't ask me why. I wonder whether there is such a thing as couple skating? *wink wink* I LURVE ice skating, although I wouldn't ... haha I'm in Latin and we're all musing over Mr Fleming and all the bizzaro and weird stuff he did to us last year. Like wheeling us round in recycling bins and shooting us with staple guns and throwing dusters at us, it was a crack up.

OMG!! Keanu is winning in the Hello! Magazine polls! haha!! come on Keanu you can do it!! I feel like watching Something's Gottaa Give, hmm

*name changed for privacy lol

Mel wishes to make a public announcement

2004-09-16T23:33:00.000+12:00

Mel wishes to make a public annoucement to all her adoring fans and readers out there:

I AM SOOOO SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT YOU!

School has been so tiring this term that I have just been too pooped to write. Any how, now it's the holidays and I have so much time on my hands I now don't know what to do with it all. Talk about extremes. Hah! I won a CD on the radio the other day for a joke I stumped Brett and Lance with. You know what? I should be getting heaps for all the advertising I do in this lil' bloggy of mine.

STATUS: Spinster

For those of you who didn't know me last year (or just decided then and now that you wanted to get intimate with me (not in the dodgy way you sicko!) by reading my blog) I was a Bridget Jone's Diary nut, loved the movie, read the book, and concluded that I was to die a spinster. (It's not that I actually want to be one, It's just that fate has befallen me in this way.) ... (Was that grammatically correct?)
Of course I NEVER let my friends forget that I. WILL. DIE. A. SPINSTER. (See, I'm doing it to you now...friend.) Mind you, there is the .40978093842 millionth of a chance that I won't, but those chances are pretty slim.

I just don't get it. Why do my friends (well...most of them) seem to be a magnet to guys, even though they don't even try (although there are some who try too hard...) ... (Not referring to me, because my trying too hard, if I try too hard, doesn't get me anywhere

*Opps, got a little side-tracked there. Was day dreaming about Dan... DAN!!! Hey, how many of you find your heart starts racing when they get a text message? I always get that..especially since I don't have a mobile phone!!! (I'm just joking, I do, but I thought that would be a funny but lame joke...hahaha.) And my heart also starts racing when I get a new comment...so..hint, hint...

I'm a professional comment fisher so please leave a comment, I got to make you living you know! I have three kids! Jokes, so comments please.

As Liv says: Let's go comment fishing!

2004-07-15T05:43:00.000+12:00

Holidays is soooo boring. My life is a said waste of time... well, sometimes anyway.

All holidays, this depressed and seriously desperate person has been waking up in the morning, and the first thing she does is log onto the net to see whether she has any new comments in her blog. Alas! (Eheu!) No new comments :( Shame on you, sadistic readers who read without leaving a comment. (nah just joking)

So, should I stick with the "Life and Philosophy of a Truly Generic Teen"? Or should I focus my blog on something else? Got an idea to make a sad and creatively deprived child happy? Leave and comment in my blog!

I also had a LAME idea for my blog:
1. Turn it into an agony aunt column. People who need advice send me a private message (anonymous) to my blog account, and from there I reply with advice on my blog. Voila! (it's French, I always thought you spelt it Wa-la! But people told me is was "Voila") ... (Looks like Vi-o-la to me.) ... (Sounds like some sort of flower or instrument.)

So do you like my idea? Have an idea of your own? Or like the blog the way it is? Then leave a comment!

Here's my new (stupid) anthem, not that I had one before:
Oh ho ho, let's all go, comment fishing!

Ta-da!

Beware of Judgement Day

2004-07-04T00:29:00.000+12:00

Sorry but if you think you've stumbled across an online edition of the Bible, please leave now. Yes, I know I started with "In the beginning..." and this entry happens to be entitled "Beware of Judgement Day" but what I am referring to is not the end of the world (although for some it is) but none other than ... MUFTI DAY. (But if you would like to read about the end of the world, it's in Revelations in the Bible, right at the end ... for the end of the world.)

Anyhow getting back to m, m, m, m, Mmmufti day, why is it called "Judgement Day" do you ask. Simple, the name speaks for itself really. If you're not wearing the latest $200 sweater or jeans that EVERYONE has, then you're liable to be "Judged." Some people even go as far as to say "You're gonna get crucified."

Funny thing isn't it. Everybody whines and moans about having to wear your boring grey uniform (well I like my uniform, thank you very much)...(plus; it was designed by a famous clothes designer so I have no quams about that.) And so God (or maybe the teachers) introduced Mufti Day so that people could expression *rabbit ears* their individuality.

Well, so much for that, because all I can see is sheep wearing expensive shirts and designer jeans. Or maybe some one has just pulled the wool over my eyes. Get it wool over my eyes! Ok *cough cough* lame pun. But I think that we should all be able to wear what WE want to wear without having to worry about what other think.

Life Philosophy of the Day:Don't worry about what other people think of what you're wearing. Because everyone else is too up themselves worrying about what other people think of them.

Trust me the saying works, just think of it everytime you dress to go somewhere.

In the beginning...

2004-06-15T03:30:00.000+12:00

In the beginning... the first three starting words of some of the most famous and greatest works of literature and philosophy. Like the Bible. Or Harry Potter. Wait. Not Harry Potter. No that start with "the Boy Who Lived." But anyway, most things started with meaningful and well thought out startings. This however, does not. In fact this happens to start with a nice little yick-yack about how crap it's already started out. But still, after all it is only the beginning...